Discussion about Companionship

 

Based on the chat log provided (below), here is a summary of the discussion regarding Companionship, primarily driven by Kati Evans mentoring her daughter Catherine (and Caroline) on the expectations, rights, and strategies for a Free Woman in a Gorean setting.

1. The Importance of "The Conversation"

• Timing: Kati advises that serious discussions about expectations, sex, and boundaries must happen during courting, right at the beginning.

• Purpose: This filters out men who are only looking for a "glorified slave" or sexual convenience. If a man leaves because of these boundaries, it saves the woman from heartbreak later when emotional attachments are formed.

• Honesty: Catherine is advised to be open about her fears (e.g., enjoying sex too much and being treated like a slave, or not enjoying it at all).

2. Intimacy and Sexual Dynamics

• The "Gift" of Intimacy: Kati views sexual roleplay (ERP) as a "gift" a Companion gives when she feels truly connected, not an obligation. She notes that free women are not slaves and have the right of choice.

• Physical Advice: Kati offers specific advice for a first-time companionship: she suggests the woman should be "on top" for the first week to control the pace and prevent pain/tearing until she adjusts physically.

• Distinction from Slaves: The consensus is that men often use slaves for rough stress relief, but should treat Companions with love and gentleness. Catherine expresses a desire to be "loved, not used."

3. Contracts and Legal Protections

• Jurisdiction: A critical point raised by Kati is that a Companionship Contract must be filed in the city where the couple lives. If they move, the contract must be attached to the application for the new city immediately, or the woman risks losing her protections.

• Clauses: Catherine desires specific clauses, such as a "Pregnancy Clause" (dictating terms if a child is born) and a custody clause ensuring that if they separate, any female offspring remain with the mother.

• Punishment: The contract should explicitly state that punishments must be private and consensual.

4. The "No Collar" Rule

• Major Taboo: Kati takes a hard stance based on Gorean books (vs. Second Life trends), stating that Free Women do not wear collars, even hidden ones or for punishment.

• Symbolism: A collar equates to slavery. If a Companion consents to wear one, she risks her status and becoming a kajira.

• Sanctuary: Kati offers her home as a sanctuary. If a man attempts to collar Catherine or treat her like a slave, she is instructed to leave immediately and return to her mother.